In my first year as a PhD student, I experienced insults, lies and pressure to work overtime from the group leader. The group leader was new at the institute, had an ERC grant and therefore felt untouchable. Nevertheless, I addressed the incidents, went to the institute management, the ombudspersons and the personnel office. After a short time, I was kindly advised to leave the lab. After me, the lab manager and the postdoc also left quickly and confirmed my perception. Another PhD student stayed because he feared for his residence permit. The same day after his defense, he wrote me a message that he would have liked to stand behind me and was glad that the worst years of his life were over. He felt they were worse than his military service. I then moved to the laboratory of a pioneer. History repeated itself. But this time another student reported the incidents and the group leader was asked to leave. None of this was made public. The employees were assigned to other labs. These incidents ended my career as a scientist. After two years I dropped out of my PhD. Nobody wanted a researcher who uncovered injustices. I was very ambitious and learned and established complicated methods. I believe I am a good scientist. Now I'm a technical assistant because there's no room in our system for a Master's student without a doctorate. It's ok for me, but sometimes it feels unfair. During my time as a PhD, I was insulted, put under pressure, accused of lying when, for example when the bus didn't come and I was 5 minutes late for work. I was forced to work overtime. I was told to falsify my log of working hours. If I felt sick during night work because my circulation couldn't cope, I was reported to the institute management since I spent 2 more minutes than agreed on the toilet. Written work was torn up in front of me. I was humiliated. Nobody helped me. Not even the people who were clearly responsible for it. The first group leader didn't even have to justify his/her actions. I am really thankful for networks like this. Back than in 2018 there was no awareness at all.
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